Damn That Mare!

Earlier this week, I went up the hill for our weekly riding date. I wasn't in any hurry, and for once Mom and Bill didn't have to rush to get back for check-in, so I was feeling pretty Zen. The mountains always do wonders for my mood, and I was starting off in a pretty good mood to begin with. I was looking forward to an amazing ride on my amazing horse.

When I went into the pen to grab her, she and Alloy were down by the creek getting some water. It was so pretty, I just had to take a picture.

Skeeter saw me coming and decided she needed to drink the creek dry before she was caught. No big deal, we weren't under any time crunch and I was in a fantastic mood. I didn't even much care that she walked away when I went up to her, she just went to the top of the hill where I normally catch her. 

She stood at the hitch rail like a pro while I groomed, fly sprayed, and tacked her up. A gentleman wandering by stopped to chat and she was happy to be a perfect Mustang Ambassador. She didn't even give me much trouble putting her boots on. 

It's always fairly easy to get her left boot on, but her right one is always troublesome. No big deal, I was in a fantastic mood, so it didn't bother me to have to put her on a circle for a couple of laps. As soon as we got back to the hitch rail, she gave me her right foot and the boot went on.

I led her across the street and up the hill with Bill leading out and Mom riding drag. At the base of the switchback, she stopped cold, but move up when I drove her forward with the lead rope. I led her up the upper trail, rather than the switchback and she walked right up it without a problem. My thought is that we'll spend the rest of the riding season walking her up the upper trail so that she can build not-traumatic memories of that and hopefully override the bad memories of the switchback.

Alloy was being his normal impatient self, so Bill was riding him out and back, out and back, while Skeeter and I trudged along to a place where I could mount up. I was wearing an old, comfortable pair of jeans that are just a touch too big. Like, barely too big. Unfortunately, when I went to mount up, the bottom of the leg of my pants got caught on the back of my boot and I ripped my pants in the crotch. But, you know what? It was okay, because I was in a fantastic mood.

I got settled in and gave Skeeter a little nudge to move. Huh. She didn't move. So I clicked and kicked again. Nothing. It was at this point that my fantastic mood began to deteriorate, and I knew she and I would be fighting for the entire ride. When she puts her stubborn pants on and plants herself, there's not a lot to be done.

Now, last week, when she got tired and stopped, I dismounted and led her a ways, but that wasn't going to happen this time. I'd just gotten on for freak's sake! Meanwhile, Bill and Alloy are riding out and back, out and back. Once Alloy gets moving, he has to keep moving or he gets all "ants in his pants" and starts thinking about bucking.

A couple of hard kicks and a threat with the end of the reins later, Skeeter sighed and took about ten steps before stopping again. Lather, rinse, repeat, for half a mile. At one point, I asked Mom to move up ahead of us, hoping Skeets would just follow. Washoe was very patient, and Alloy was getting lots of exercise riding out and back, out and back.

I had, about the third time she stopped for no reason, reached my boiling point. I was so angry, my fists were clenched and I was saying not very nice words. I had decided to tell Bill to turn on the upper rubber strip trail so we could just do the short one-hour ride and head back, when he and Alloy made the turn without me saying anything. I breathed a sigh of relief. 

Skeeter made the turn nicely and walked about 25 yards before she came to a dead stop. Again. I picked up my rein and smacked her hard right on the shoulder to get her moving. Since she stepped on my 9' reins a few weeks ago, I've been riding in my 7' ones and they're too short to smack her on the ass without pulling on her mouth, so the shoulder it was.

She must have realized she'd done effed up this time and jumped sideways into a small tree and some dead fall.

She almost looks athletic in this picture. She's not.

Unfortunately, she jumped and crashed right as Bill and Alloy were headed back toward us. Alloy heard the smack and saw Skeeter jump, so bad, bad things had to have been happening. Of course, his first reaction is to buck. The picture is the last one Bill took right before he went ass over tea kettle. 

Bill hit the ground, Skeeter came to a dead stop, and Alloy took about three running strides before sauntering off. I dismounted to check on Bill, who had the wind knocked out of him, while Mom and Washoe went after Alloy.

Once Bill could breathe again, we hiked up the mountain to meet Mom and Washoe with Alloy. Bill remounted to ride out, and Mom encouraged me to remount, but I refused. Alloy's frustration was also at a boiling point because of Skeeter's refusal to move and I didn't want to add any more frustration and cause another wreck.

Yes, it would have been best for me to remount and force Skeeter to carry me out, but it was not in the best interest of Bill and Alloy, so I hiked out. Not the first time it's happened, won't be the last, I'm sure.

I told Mom that once we got back to the lodge, we were going to drop Bill and Alloy off and I was going to mount back up and ride at least around the block. Not the best solution, but a decent compromise, I felt.

Skeeter was Not Pleased when we got back to the lodge and I mounted up. Mom and Washoe rode along with us for support. Skeets and I had a big ole fight about leaving the parking lot and another big ole fight in the neighbor's front yard, but we finally got moving and stayed moving. We only rode about two blocks, and on the way back, we kind of zig-zagged through parking lots and such, taking the indirect way home so she couldn't bolt back to the hitch rail.

For the first time EVER, I considered getting spurs. I don't ride in them, because I've never been trained to and I've ridden horses who have been ruined by people wearing spurs who have no business doing so. But... I seriously considered making an exception. Instead, I'm going to strip the horn bag off my saddle so I can get a good over-under with the rein if necessary. Also, a riding crop may be in her future if she doesn't straighten the eff up.

The next time we go out, it will probably just be me and Mom since Bill's on injured reserve, and we will have all the time in the world for our battle royale. Of course, since we'll have time to fight it out, she won't give me any problems at all.

Gah! Mares.

Mom and Bill's Christmas Card Surprise

We have Mom and Bill's herd for a few days, and since we were going to take Christmas pictures with our horses, how hard could it be to do Christmas pictures with theirs?

Washoe the Wonder Idiot and Jesse were angels - they were easily caught and willing to play dress-up without a problem. Ranger Danger, on the other hand, well ... let's just say I got a lot of exercise trying to catch him. I might have given up a time or two, but there was no way I was going to get Christmas pictures of only two of their horses. If I couldn't get all three, then I wasn't going to do it. And, by God, Mom was going to get her Christmas pictures, so Ranger and I had to come to an understanding.

Eventually, he deigned to be caught and was a perfect gentleman for his 30 seconds of fame. Jerk.

I didn't know what to do with the pictures once we took them, so I decided that I'd make Mom and Bill some Christmas cards to send out. Now, this is risky, because I don't know if Mom has already sent out her cards. Just to be on the safe side, I didn't put the year on the cards in case she needs to hold them until next year. How's that for thinking?

Mom's herd wasn't super excited about having to play dress-up and pose for me. They do great for Mom and Bill, but I'm not really their human. There was no getting happy ears from them for the pictures. They stood nicely like I asked them to, but that was the extent of their cooperation. It was like taking pictures of sullen teenagers. But the pictures are done, and Mom's going to love this surprise, dammit.

Clockwise: Reba, Washoe, Ranger, Jesse, Humans

Parade Pimpin'

Every year, we try to come up with something "cool" to do to the horses for the parade.  The first couple of years, it was skirts behind the saddle.  Each year, we added something new.  In 2009, Mom added red, white, and blue ribbons to Jesse's mane.

2009

In 2010, the year the parade didn't happen, we painted glitter paint on the mares' hooves.

2010

Last year, I went bareback and we added butt bows and glitter gel to the mix.

Red, white and blue sparkly feetsies,
Butt bow,
Glitter gel
2011

This year, I had a totally different vision.  I had seen the coolest mane weave on a draft horse and I had to do it this year.  Never mind that I was going to have to tangle my fingers in Estee's hair, it was going to get done.  And then Nebalee and I started talking and for some of Autobot's meets, Nebalee glues small jewels to the weave.  Oh boy, that really started my little brain a workin'.

For some reason, the parade organizers decided to push back the parade an hour, for an 11:00 start, which worked out perfectly - it gave me plenty of time to try to do Her Highness' hair (since I hadn't bothered to practice doing it).  Nebalee is pretty much our hair and butt bow expert, so she started in on Jesse while I started on Estes.

Nebalee whipped right through.

It took me a little longer.

While Nebalee and I worked on getting the manes done, I put Ashinator to work "Bedazzling" Estes' butt.

Estes and Ranger really got into it,
she's got marks all over her.

When Ash finished Estes, she went to work on blinging out Jesse's butt.  We've got Nebalee, who is the hair and butt bow expert, and Ashinator, who is the bedazzler/butt blinger.  Wonder how that'll look on a resume?

I had planned to ride bareback-bareback, but since Ranger was bad, Her Highness has a bit of swelling on her back, so I rode on one of Mom's bareback pads (which saved me from having the whole diarrhea-looking butt after the parade).

It took us just over an hour to get the horses ready (we didn't do a pedicure this year), but the effort was well worth it!

Jesse's mane ROCKED!

Estes' mane wasn't nearly as neat as Jesse's
but it looked pretty good anyway.

Parade Pimpin'

Them's some fine-lookin' mares, yessir!

Finally, it was line-up time and we rode over to our place in line, with Nebalee and her kids in Ripley.  Yes, we put our Korean car in the 4th of July parade, and she looked good!  Nebalee will probably never be able to listen to Party Rock Anthem again, as she and the kids were blaring it along the parade route.

Estes and me shuff-ff-ff-alin'

Stopped along the parade route,
have no idea what the hold up was.

Estes and Jesse were great for the parade - they pranced right along to Ripley's music and were pretty much rock stars until the end.  The turn-around is always tough - the Homecoming Queen makes her appearance and it's always a much more fun ride back to the Lodge.  Estes found a nice collected canter (yes, I did it bareback and on asphalt - and I didn't die!), while Jesse settled into her running walk.  This, of course, after some pretty dramatic shows from both mares of spins, sidepasses and moving on the diagonal.  Jesse is perhaps the best backer I've ever met and she gave one hell of a backing demonstration when it was time to come home.

This year was a huge success for the Bionic Cowgirl - in the past when Jesse started putting on a show, she'd have to dismount and walk back because she just didn't have the hip/leg strength to stick with Jesse's little temper tantrums.  This year, though, she stuck it all out.  Those bionic hips are kind of a cool thing (but Jesse may not agree, as she doesn't get her way a whole lot anymore).

Visiting the Triple Creek Ranch

Mom and I went to see Julie Goodnight at Triple Creek Ranch for a one-day Horse How-To clinic focusing on:

• Ground Manners for Young or Fractious Horses
• Advanced Groundwork and Liberty Work
• Riding Right: Balance Rhythm and Feel
• Training Solutions

I'm always so impressed when I get to watch Julie work.  She's hilarious in person and is so down-to-earth.  When I work as part of the crew, there are so many things going on that I can't focus on one thing.  Taking Mom as her birthday present was totally an excuse for me to sit in the audience and focus on what Julie had to say.  (I did feel a little guilty about not working, though.)

What astounds me is the immediate difference in the horses.  I know that there are some nay-sayers who don't believe that change happens as quickly as it does on the TV show.  For those people, all I can say is, audit a clinic.  She takes horses she's never seen or worked with before and in a few minutes produces dramatic positive changes that the owner can reproduce.  To me, that's the most important thing: to be able to reproduce the results the trainer gets.  It doesn't do me any good to send my horse to a trainer if I don't learn how to get the same results at home.

What I noticed was that the horses - all of them - immediately responded to Julie's take-charge attitude.  When she says, "Horse, this is your Captain speaking", they listen.  It's been my observation that as soon as the owners take the same attitude and expect their horse to behave a certain way the horses take notice and toe the line.

Mom had a big ah-ha moment and put it into practice the next day with Jesse, apparently with positive results.  I'm pretty sure she'll get around to writing a post about it, so I won't blow it with a spoiler. 

As for me, I hadn't realized how close Estes and I are to being able to do simple at-liberty work and bridle-less riding until I watched the Advanced Groundwork segment.  Poor Estee has a lot of learnin' to do when she gets home.  First, we'll work on my million-dollar idea (I haven't posted about it yet) and then move to at-liberty work and bridle-less riding.  I'm not certain I'll attempt bridle-less out on the trail, but I'd love to.  I just don't know if I've got the stones required to try it outside an enclosed area.  Baby steps.  Gotta work on my million-dollar idea first and go on from there.

Make Like A Boy Scout

...and be prepared!

Mom's accident yesterday drove home the point that you must be prepared for an emergency at any time.  Being prepared doesn't mean just packing a cell phone and first aid kit.

Being prepared means knowing exactly what to do in an emergency.  And that does not necessarily always include calling 9-1-1.  It takes time for emergency responders to get to where you are - IF you have cell service and can direct them to your location.

*RANT* Cell phones have made us more dependent on other people, therefore less independent.  If we get a flat tire, we no longer change it ourselves, we call AAA or someone to come fix it.  If we break down on the side of the road, we don't even bother to see what the problem is, we just call a tow truck.  That kind of thinking - that we can just call for help - has made us helpless.

*stepping off soapbox*

1.  In an emergency, Do. Not. Panic.

2.  Take stock of the situation, make a plan.  It doesn't have to be elaborate, it can be as simple as, "let's take a look at that injury." The plan being to look at the injury and treat it.  The next step would be to figure out how to get out of the back country.  Do you send someone for help and wait for SAR to come find you?  Do you load everyone back up on their horses and ride out?  Have a plan in place, even if it's a half-assed thrown together one.  Having a plan helps keep panic at bay.

3.  Know how to use your first aid kit.  Too many times, people buy one off the shelves, throw it in their saddlebags and never think of it again.  You need to know what is in the kit and how to use everything in it.  Take a first aid course.  Keep current on it.  Most first aid techniques and equipment can be applied to both humans and horses.  If you're human fist aid certified, you will certainly know that if your horse is bleeding, direct pressure will stop the bleeding.

Most professionals will advise you to file a plan with somebody, letting them know exactly where you're going, how long you'll be gone, etc.  It's a great idea.  However, the way we ride - exploring - makes it hard to tell people exactly where we're going.  We do let people know when to expect us back.  If we're not back by that time, send someone a looking.

Thank God Bill was with Mom yesterday.  They had a first aid kit.  He knows what's in it and how to use it.  He's up-to-date on his first aid skills.  They were in a rugged area - no helicopter could have flown in, they had no cell phones with them (why would they, when there's no service), and it would have taken longer to send someone to the trail head, call for help and lead the responders back.  Riding out was the most expedient option.

Had he (or the person they were riding with) panicked, it would have been a whole different ball game.

Estee and Kiddos

Estes is truly the equine version of me.  A crusty old bitch on the outside, but a total marshmallow on the inside (don't tell anyone!).  Usually she does a pretty good job of hiding her soft, gooey insides, but she totally blew it a couple of weeks ago.  A friend of mine from way back (we're talking 19 years - yes, I just cried a little bit, I'm not old enough to have known anyone for 19 years!) came to visit her family and brought her kids up for a "ride".  With kids, normally we just throw them on bareback and lead them around the block.  Gives the kids the feeling that they got to ride without the trauma of taking them up on the mountain.  Trust me, going up on the mountain the first time you've ever climbed up on a horse can be very traumatic.

Jen's daughter, E, happily climbed up on Washoe and waited for D to get settled on Estes.  Only, he was having no part of it.  We managed to get him up on her, but that was as far as we could go.  His poor little nerves were shot just at the thought of being on her - and she's a short little mare.  Despite being absolutely terrified, he managed to find a smile for the camera...

Mom headed out, leading Washoe with E on board and I followed up riding Estes. 

We made it around the block intact and stopped just long enough for Jen to snap a picture.

I was able to convince D to give Estes a treat for letting him sit up on her.  I just love how soft her eyes are and how gentle she's being taking the treat from his hand.